Friday, May 1

Today was not a good day for me. How bad was it? I was listening to Pharrell Williams’s song “Happy” and still I was crying (how pathetic is that?).

Depression is an insidious disease. Despite the awareness of mental illness, I don’t want to blog about it or tell people about how I feel, because frankly, I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m embarrassed that I feel like I can’t take care of myself. I’m embarrassed that I can’t control my emotions or the thoughts in my head that tell me I’m worthless. There are days when I can combat these feelings, but today is not one of them.

This is why I say that “I have to run, or I’ll die.” If I didn’t have running…. Frankly, I don’t know how to end that sentence. Running is all that stands between me and that black, yawning abyss that I seem to hover over.

I went running around 1.10 p.m. I felt as if I had to go running as soon as possible because I knew I’d feel better afterwards. It was cloudy and 65 degrees F.

I walked for 4 minutes;
ran for 28 minutes;
then walked home for a total of 34 minutes.

Run time: 28 minutes

Walk time: 6 minutes

My run was 2.8 miles, so I’m getting there!

Picture of the day:

From Pexels.com by unsplash.com.

From Pexels.com by unsplash.com.

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13 thoughts on “Friday, May 1

  1. It is not pathetic at all…depression takes and takes and makes you feel worthless, which you are not. You are the one and only you and you are amazing. I am so in awe of your strength…truly xx

Looking forward to your thoughts!

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